I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
