Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
