we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
