just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
vagina is talking i cant
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
