My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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