Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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