Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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