Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
