I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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