is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize