He is an equal opportunity slut.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Boobs speak an international language.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
