i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
