Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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