White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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