Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
