Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
