careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
