I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
