I CAN MOONWALK!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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