Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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