Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
