Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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