Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
