I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
