I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize