My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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