you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
