The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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