He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
