Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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