I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
