everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize