He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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