My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
