Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
