You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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