Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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