I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
