Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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