I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
