A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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