I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
