we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize