Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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