Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
