I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
