You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
