and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
