He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
