He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
