I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
