I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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