I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
