he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
