so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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