I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
