Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
