Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize