Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
