Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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