I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
