Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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