Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
