Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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