I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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