Who did Billy Mays play for?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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