saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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