I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize