Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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